Covid-19 Blues

Appreciation

What if this is the end of the good times? 

The missus and I, times decidedly good. 

It's Friday, April 3rd, 2020. We are deep into the Covid-19 crisis. My wife and I have been self-isolating since I got home from Reno about three weeks ago. 

I had heard about the coronavirus outbreak in China since January. It was an issue for the Fantasy Role Playing Game community early on; dozens of projects were delayed or canceled as China shut down all of its production facilities. Books and dice and Kickstarter extras like game master screens and dice bags were all hung up and nobody was happy. 


No one was really afraid for America yet, so I flew (Atlanta-Houston, Houston-Gulfport) to make it to Coast Con, the last actual physical convention I visited, and from there went directly to the GAMA Trade Show in Reno. 

Biloxi, McElroy's: My last truly great restaurant meal before the bad times?

By the time I got to GAMA the world was taking real precautions while many folks ignored those same precautions. Hand sanitizer was everywhere, folks were making jokes about not hugging. People were still giving big handshakes, and I heard about a weird seminar where the host orally blew up balloons and then let them fly around the room. That's a mighty fine way to spread some germs there, Lou. 

Brett Brooks and I in Reno for GAMA, circa Good Times.

I flew home (Reno - Salt Lake City, SLC - Atlanta), grabbed a Lyft home, and then began my isolation, two weeks before Georgia even considered a Shelter In Place order. 

So here I am. Here we all are.

Mixed Bag

Sheltering in Place is a mixed bag.  

On the one hand - I'm home with my wife, my dog, and my cats. I'm safe and indoors. Lori and I are both working from home, and while we occasionally work on one another's nerves like any couple, or any two people shut up in in four rooms for too long. 

Lori and Esme

We take turns cooking and doing the dishes, as always, but since the lockdown it seems we both take extra care with meals. Lori made a wonderful sausage and lentil dish which I liked so much I asked for it again a week later. I made what I believe to be the best lasagna of my life, and we ate on that for days. 

Look on my works, Ye hungry, and salivate! 

My work has transitioned online. Where normally I would be getting ready for Atlanta's own Momocon right about now, instead I'm gearing up for Goodman Game's first convention, the fully online Cyclops Con. 

So that's great. 

The Other Hand

And on the other hand I'm going a little mad from isolation and grief for my world. 

Every day you wake up, and you look online, and you see which of your friends are sick, which of your sick friends were either recovering or not recovering. 

All change is stressful, and the quarantine's effects radiate across the world changing absolutely everything. 

I think about it this way. Go back a few years - go back to the last time you would consider normal, if you are lucky enough to remember a normal period in your life. 

Now think of an event during that time that directly affected your happiness in a small way. A favorite TV show getting canceled, or your regular neighborhood restaurant 

I want to see my mother and father, my sister, my brother-in-law to be. I want to hook up with my boy Greg and go and go drink beers at Doc's and eat fried artachoes. I want to go to a convention and run games of mixed tables of old and new friends, long time DCC players and complete RPG noobies. 

Typin' and Cryin'

I want to wander around through shops, waste time, breathe air, hug and high five and crowd into a booth. 

Maybe that happens never again. I'm fragile, sad, and mournful.

And while I don't think this is The End - like, a year from now its just tumbleweeds rolling across a world without humans - I do think that at least for myself this could be the end of the Good Times, the good times I wasn't even aware that I was living through. 

What if this is the beginning of the real bad times? What if this is it for all the little comforts that I always assumed would always be here? I can absolutely imagine an economy over the next few years (decades?) where I can't afford to go to a restaurant, or move to a new city, or buy Christmas presents? What if the new economic reality puts simple things like that out of reach to somebody like me?

I have no idea how likely a scenario that is, but it's been on my mind. 

Anyway, what do do if that's the case? Well, this is the Traveling Now and all things happen here at once in a single celebrated instance of forever, and so what I choose to do is spend time actively appreciating the good times, and by appreciating them have new good times, the times when I enjoyed the old times. 

Appreciate Restaurants 

Finding an excuse to be in the neighborhood of one of my favorite restaurants just around lunchtime. Here are my lifetime favorites:

The Ugly Mug Diner, Salem MA 

I love the Ugly Mug. Its a little breakfast-and-lunch place with a counter - absolutely essential to solo lunching. They had very good coffee and were very good about refills, and a fantastic menu. 

My go-to breakfast choice: the Jon Negretti Blue Plate Special, with blueberry pancakes, bacon, and home fries or sweet potato home fries that they would make extra-crispy if you asked. This was a delightful and rare breakfast combo without eggs (I'm allergic). My go-to lunch: Mug burger with a salad.

They made a duck confit waffle, which is almost too decadent for anything other than birthday or New Year's Day enjoyment. I had it twice, both times it hit me like I imagine heroin does after watching Requiem for a Dream.

They also always had a chalkboard full of specials that could be anything. Special mac and cheese combos, a daily muffin. 

Also - the Mug is the best place north of the Mason-Dixon line to eat biscuits and gravy. The chef makes actual red-eye gravy with actual coffee - I saw him do it once. Not exactly nutritionally dense, but delicious. 

Sitting there working or reading and drinking up coffee - I will never take that kind of experience for granted again. 

Cafe Mini's, Seattle, WA

If I had to choose just one restaurant from my past to eat at for the rest of my life it would probably be Cafe Mini's. The best coffee - I think they bought from Cafe Vita. Fantastic burgers (the Hinderburger! Wow do I miss that). Dutch babies. They made deli sandwiches, and I can't quite put my finger on what they do differently but they are one of the few places where I feel like I an order a corned beef or pastrami sandwich and not feel ripped off, like I just spent restaurant money on something I could have made better at home for a fraction of the cost. 

Cafe Mini's also did a rockin' tomato basil soup. I never had anything there I didn't really enjoy. Plus I saw Margaret Cho at Cafe Mini's, twice. Its closed now for many years, but I have wonderful memories of it.

Little Italy Pizza, Athens GA

The best place to go for pizza, hands down, bar none. I've lived in NY, eaten the best pizza Chicago and Massachusetts' North Shore, tried it in every city that had a FRPG convention, and Little Italy is my favorite - perhaps not the objective best, but my clear favorite. Two slices with onions and and pitcher of PBR. 

(PS Just found out that Little Italy still, after all this time, still has no website. So much respect. Three oh six oh WHAAAAAT!?!?)

Happy Wok, East Meadow NY

I lived with my grandmother in East Meadow for a few years in my late teens - early twenties. At least once a week she would send me down to see "the Chinaman," an appellation that I'm proud to say makes me cringe now even more than it did way back in the heady days of 1990. I can't remember what she used to have, but I always had their General Tso's Chicken, which to this day is the best I ever had. We would both eat right out of the tin foil while we watched Johnny Carson (eventually replaced by Jay Leno, who my grandma preferred, she once confided to me), sometimes staying awake all the way to Letterman. 

I always had great chow from the Happy Wok. No chance anyone who worked there when I was going is still working there (is there?), but I miss that place and wish everyone involved the very best. 

Now I feel like I have to do something about McElroy's in Biloxi, site of the last great restaurant meal I had before the lockdown. I'll save it for another time but TL:DR, David Decoubier and myself ate ourselves silly and drank local beer. Amazing afternoon.)

Thanks for reading. More as I remember to appreciate it. 

The Female Price of Male Pleasure

Lili Loofbourow writes an extremely well-argued opinion piece in The Week about our different expectations for sex  here in the Modern World.


 Worth your time!

Hey,

Thanks for checking in with The Traveling Now. Got those holiday blues? Me too.

Another extremely short post. But I wanted to post this because it underscores a theme that has been on my mind of late: to wit, we need to improve our vocabulary and breadth of knowledge, as a society, if we want to move forward.

Extremely interesting article on the conservative view of the Affordable Healthcare Act from educator Bryan Henry.

GOP Kool-Aid

This is an interesting article from consertive blogger Jennifer Rubin.

20 Signs you've drunk the Kool-Aid

May you NOT live in interesting times,

The Traveling Now

Un-Sexy Truths

Hello folks. Welcome back to The Traveling Now.

Traveling Now? Was That The Blog about Twerking, or what?

After another amazingly long absence the Traveling Now is back. Chide me for my idleness! It can't be any worse than the grief I give myself.

But I will give you what I feel is a reasonable excuse for my slack: The Traveling Now is my place to post what I think of as my public outrage - my anger at the world at large. It’s all stuff I am willing to share.

These days, however, my public outrage takes a way back seat to my private outrage, and I'm not so keen on sharing that. It’s hard for me to talk about myself in a public forum: like, chillingly hard. Some months ago, a good buddy of mine asked me to get up and talk to his political group about how student loans were fucking up my life (full disclosure: they were and are, but I'm not going to talk about them here). I am perfectly comfortable, nay, at home, speaking in front of groups, but my heart raced when he asked me about it.

Anyway, here is me talking about the public bits of my private outrage. 

The Un-Sexy Truth Blues

I am a centrist. I believe that moderation and balance are key to a happy life, a happy community, a happy society. Extremes, while exciting and sexy and easy to get caught up in, generally lead to unhappiness and so I am against them.

But being a true ideological moderate is a bitch. Nobody sees centrism as anything but a milquetoast retreat from more exciting world views, a kind of retreat from being confrontational. 

But the true centrist has to embrace some difficult truths, the kind of truths that take some courage to accept. I argue that it’s more difficult and more courageous to be a political centrist, because the centrist must forgo the easy and natural path of self-exultation and embrace the difficult truths about society, and about themselves.

Ready for this?

First Un-Sexy Truth: The World is Complicated. 

One of the charms of every flavor of extremism is that it embraces an easy to read, cookie cutout of a world view. We are RIGHT and NORMAL and GOOD! They are WRONG and WEIRD and BAD!  We have to stop THEM no matter WHAT THE COST!

See how sexy that is? Wahoo! Whatever extreme point of view you believe, the notion of canonizing your own position and allies while demonizing the position and adherents of any other point of view is as natural and satisfying as masturbation. And, as it turns out, is just as effective at resolving out world's problems.

If it was effective this movie would have brought peace to the Middle East

The truth is that with the exception of the odd moron, lunatic, and sociopath, nearly everyone's politics have some good and valid points. And some bad points, and some insane points.

Part of the problem is that political issues are extremely complicated - almost unfathomably so, I imagine, if you could somehow see it all from some omniscient point of view.  Imagine the politicking that has to take place for even a simple decision.

For example, certain folks in Town X believe that a traffic signal should go up at a certain cross roads which is getting busier and busier. Sounds simple, right?

Nope. Is this crossroad the one in Town X in most dire need of a new traffic signal, or would the majority of the public be better served by putting one up elsewhere? How long will the instillation of the traffic signal disrupt traffic, and what businesses or family homes will be affected by it? And for how long? How do you decide which of the many groups of contractors should be given the contract to put up the traffic light? If the contracting company is minority owned, woman owned, beholden to some higher environmental standard – should that weigh in on the town’s decision of who to hire to put the light up? Is putting a traffic signal up the best use of the town’s money? Would more lives be saved if that money was used to hire more policemen, or firemen, or more prisons? All of the money used to put the signal up will be taxpayer money – is this what will best please the taxpayers? Should taxpayers have a direct voice in where their money is spent, or should they trust their elected representatives to make those decisions for them. Some taxpayers don’t want money spent on anything, they want as little government and government regulation as possible – what about their needs? I could go on and on.

And that's just the practical issues. The real bullshit begins with politics. I am the mayor of Town X - it this light going to hurt, or help, my chances of being re-elected? Is this going to piss off any of my cronies, the powerful ones that really make sure shit gets done in town? The ugly reality is that politics is a system and the system begins and ends with people. And I don't care who you are, if you get faced with choosing making the best decision for your town, and making the decision that will help you keep your job and paycheck so you can keep feeding your family . . . I am sure you see my point.

Clearly these are all questions that can be answered – perhaps not ultimately answered, but answered enough for a given value of practicality. Mind you, each answer will likely change the answer of the next question you have to ask.

Apply this kind of thinking to decisions like whether or not the United States should bomb Syria – and you must -  and you see politics for the unfathomably complicated business it is. And there is no getting around that. People who tells you that they are just a simple man with simple solutions for what need to happen in the world are lying to you, well intentioned or not.

Second Unsexy Truth: Some of Your Beliefs are Assuredly Wrong

There is a very good reason to consider the point of view of the people who stand in opposition to your beliefs. They are not wrong about everything, and you are not right about everything.

Now, here is some paradox for your ass: the truth is that you must be wrong about something, otherwise you would be, what? The Smartest Person in the World? God?

But if you go around doubting yourself all the time, you become an ineffective person who can’t make decisions. 

Most folks solve this paradox by assuming that they are right all the time, and then adjusting their expectations or their beliefs when they catch themselves out being wrong about something. 

(My personal advice? Don’t try to solve the paradox, recognize that it is a paradox and work with it. Accept that sometimes you are wrong; go forth boldly like you aren’t. Realize that it’s okay to be wrong, it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s definitely okay to change your mind when presented with better facts. Ta daa!)

Now go walk on the rice paper! 

Anyway, unless you are God or the Smartest Person in the World, other folks have a point of view and often facts that, if you can truly internalize them, can either moderate your views, or (gasp! can it be?) change your mind completely.

And in seeing things from the point of view of somebody who is just dead wrong, you will gain greater insight into humanity, as well as into yourself and your beliefs. Win-win baby!

Third Un-Sexy Truth – Meaningful Change Takes Time

And I’ve said it here again and again

For example, let’s talk Gay Marriage. Excuse me . . . Marriage Equality.

Public Opinion on Marriage Equality (and just the fact that the phrase "marriage equality" is now in the public consciousness shows how far we have come) has changed more rapidly than any other divisive social issue that I can think of.

But if you think about it, it is also going incredibly slowly. Homosexuality has been a part of our world since forever. We see again and again that some people are simply born gay – it’s not a perversion, it’s not a choice . . . it’s just something that happens.

Except that there are people willing to use every means necessary, every dirty political trick, every false argument, every heresy, to fight not only against Marriage Equality, but to allow them to keep treating homosexuality as anything other than a perversion on a level with child molestation.

To change the world, you need to change hearts and minds. But what about those who dig their heels in, the people whose very identity is wrapped up in their old mode of thought? Well, you have to change the next generation. Or the one after that. Or the one after that. 

So what happens is if you work your whole life to change the world, you might . . . might! see some small change before you die. But the real change might not be seen for three, or thirteen, or thirty generations. And you have to do the work anyway, even though you probably will not be able to appreciate the changes you bring about. How's that for some un-sexy?

The big mistakes have to be unlearned, and sometimes that takes generation. Patience, Padawans! 

Okay that’s enough ugly, non-sexy truth for one day. 

Go forth cooler, Friends! 

In My Life

So I just moved to Salem MA! That means no more pawn shop stories, and hopefully less stories about the racists I meet every day. Hopefully, it also means more stories about lobster, cool people, North Shore music and culture, and tourism. Watch this space!

In Conclusion . . .

My buddy just started a very hip blog on politics and culture. Check him out and see what the brother has to say!

Currently Digging: 

Salem MA, the DCC RPG, the new Eminem, Dark Chocolate Roasted Pistachio Toffee

Political Harassment

Political Harassment

Hey there hi there ho there. Welcome back.

My sister came by for the final leg of my three week long birthday celebration. We sat in my kitchen, ate up some of my famous hybrid pancakes, caught each other up on our lives.

Our talk turned to harassment - political harassment, specifically. She and my mother work together at a major real estate agency. And of late, there is has been a lot of hate leveled towards Obama, who the two of them support. That's to be expected this close to a hotly contested election where one side has declared total war against the other.

But what do you do when you can't get away from the hate? When the constant barrage of political jabs becomes a distraction from your job?

Full disclosure: As pissed off as I am at the NDAA I'm supporting Obama in the upcoming election as well.

My sister says that she and my mother are the subject of a steady barrage of Tea Party style anti-Democrat jokes and comments. They receive unsolicited mass emails, are subject to jokes (most of which are terribly tasteless, all of which are way off base), are the subject of derision for their political beliefs.

Is that okay?

I say no, not in the work place.

Its uncool anywhere - who wants to be badgered about their convictions? Would you feel okay if every day I tried to convince you that your religion was wrong, and that you should join mine? - but I feel that its inexcusable in the workplace.Work should be about work - you don't go to your job to have all-day confrontations  about your personable beliefs. You are there to do a job, and unpleasant behavior that makes it harder to do your job should be eliminated. Obviously there are grey areas that need to be worked out.

You can forgive the heat that people have about their political opinions. Many modern media organizations run on the fear and hatred of their viewers. If you were a visitor from another planet who tuned into the news for a few nights you might leave earth with the conviction that whoever wins the upcoming Presidential election, the loosing side will all be executed and buried in some massive sacrificial ziggurat. The inflammatory rhetoric comes at you twenty-four seven and after a while you get swept up. That's how brain washing works - you just keep yelling something at someone, and eventually they start believing whatever you say.

The Traveling Now Saves The Workplace, Part 1 

You should be able to talk politics with your co-workers. You should be able to work free of harassment. How do we reconcile these two axioms, so often at loggerheads? 

Why, you do it by following the Traveling Now's simple rules for Politics in the workplace.

Be Respectful: Really, all workplace harassment issues come down to a lack of respect. Simple flirtation or the pursuit of a relationship becomes sexual harassment when the object of your affection says no and you do not respect that no. Likewise, its possible to have a conversation about politics, but if you are just trying to score points, show your disdain, or out yell someone you have crossed that line. No one is obliged to let you cross-examine their beliefs on any sort of casual basis. If someone isn't into hearing about politics (or fishing, or sports, or whatever!), then you should respect that.

Respect also means you use a respectful mode of discourse. That hilarious cartoon you found of Obama dressed like Hitler might say exactly what you want to say, but emailing it to someone who you know is an Obama supporter is an attack. Period. Political cartoons are what they are, no one expects them to be Fair and Balanced, but loading your co-workers inbox with the ugliest stuff you can find on the internet is not cool.

One last thing - respect rarely, if ever, has to raise its voice.

Don't Monologue: Dialog!: That means you listen as well as speak. If you  want to talk politics, don't just spit out everything you heard from Rush Limbaugh or Terry Grosse in the car that morning. Try to engage, rather than harangue, and you are on the path of the Cool Office Friend. Disagreement is healthy and necessary and if engage the people you disagree with rather than just trumpeting your beliefs you might find your way to that most rare of discussions, the Productive Discussion. Hooray!

By the way, monologue is the only way to change anyone's opinion. Right or wrong, people hang on to their beliefs with an iron grip when those beliefs are assaulted. Want to change someone's mind? Keep asking questions, and pay attention to the answers. You can not change anyone's mind - they have to change their own minds. If they put their beliefs, or their defense of their beliefs, into words they will eventually hear what they are saying and might just find themselves at odds with their own beliefs. That's soil that change can grow in.

Okay, that's enough about etiquette today. Best of luck to all of you in all your endeavors.

Currently Digging: The Waterboys, The Diamond Age, Juan of the Dead

"9/11 Wasn't About You."

Excuses Are Like Metaphors . . . 

Everybody has one, and they all wither in the light of careful scrutiny. Sorry its been so long since my last post.

"9/11 wasn't about  you."

" 9/11 wasn't about you. Nobody cares where you were." - Facebook post from Sept 11, 2012

And here I was thinking it was the day that my country was attacked by terrorists.

The anniversary of the day that our economy went into a tailspin that it never recovered from, which made my last decade a spiral of lay-offs and financial stress.

The kick off of a war that sent two of my good friends to the Middle East, both of whom returned but were never the same.

I was thinking it was the day that we decided as a nation to sacrifice privacy and civil liberties for the illusion of safety at any cost.

The day that a ride on an airplane went from being something to look forward to to an exercise in humiliation to be avoided whenever possible.

The event that fueled the rise of the most radical right wing  policies and politicians I have ever seen in my lifetime.

My bad.